Beat Heat Eat

By: Dean Lahn

A book review by Franz Scheurer

I unpacked this book by Dean Lahn and the Press Release fell out of it. I picked it up and the first thing I saw was a quote by Gordon Ramsay: “If it’s brown it’s cooked, if it’s black it’s fooked!” When I finished laughing I had an actual look at the book and the cover graphics reminded me of a Russian poster of the Nikita Khrushchev area: A strapping, healthy young man holding a fork (like a pitchfork) with the bold title of BEAT HEAT EAT and small subtitles, ‘Cooking Manual’ and ‘Eat or Die’. To say I was intrigued was an understatement!

At first glance this was obviously intended for the ‘mere male’ cook, every recipe illustrated for the illiterate, and hilariously funny.

Let me quote from the introduction:

“Yeah. I’ll be the first to admit that some, most, of these recipes need a little time to get your head around. That’s okay. It’s just you’ve never heard someone say it’s ok to ram a beer can up a chicken’s clacker, or simmer your dinner in Coke. Relax. Leave the cooking to the experts. Here you’re just going to fix something to eat and kick back. Nobody’s going to judge you. It’s just you, me, and the chicken”.

Right!

But on closer inspection, this book definitely has merit as it might just stop that couch potato from eating take-away and fixing something real to eat – well ‘realish’.

The illustrations accompanying each recipe are clear, concise and the short method makes perfect sense, so the magic of creating food is hardly magic in this case. But you do learn how to make a pizza base, a roast and three veg, entrées, mains and deserts; it’s all there. A word of warning: some of these methods might be a little dangerous (like turning the toaster on its side to turn it into a sandwich maker) but then this book is for ‘big boys’. Divided into Warning (definitely read this one, word for word!), Qwik Fixes, Snaks, Mains and Afters there is no excuse! Go on, Beat the ingredients, Heat them, and Eat them!

Putting left over plunger coffee (lots better than instant!) into an ice cube tray and then using a couple of cubes and a microwave oven when you feel like a coffee is left-over use ‘par excellence’ and placing a plate, topped with a can, on top of your cooking sandwich nothing short of inventive, but it’s the ‘Half Time Pie’ that really inspires me! Let me quote from the method: “in the ad break before half time, pull the puff pastry out of the freezer to defrost. When the siren goes, tear the top of the braised steak and onions and aim the contents towards one edge of the pastry. Fold the pasty over, jamming the edges together. Throw it on the baking tray and into the oven for 20 minutes on 200°C. Pull it out and watch the second half”. Now that’s almost as good as hitting a bag of chips to crush the contents, then proceeding to top chicken pieces with them, to get a crunchy chicken result! Brilliant!

As Dean Lahn says: “if you want great food, go to a restaurant – that’s what they’re there for. But if you need to make something at home to get by, this is the deal for you”.

So don’t be a piker, get this book (you will either laugh for a very long time or cook one of these recipes and…

ISBN: 978 1 86254 758 2

Published by Wakefield Press

1 The Parade West

Kent Town SA 5067

RRP: 19.95

Go to http://www.wakefieldpress.com.au/books/beatheateat.html